


The Non Pep-Talk

by roguelightning



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Trigger Warning: Peritraumatic Dissociation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:09:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27049969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguelightning/pseuds/roguelightning
Summary: Lena wakes up in the night having nightmares about her mother. Supergirl is there to help. Set somewhere in the beginning of their relationship, think the first episodes they had together in Season 2.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor/Supergirl
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1
Collections: Fic In A Box





	The Non Pep-Talk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the_wanlorn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_wanlorn/gifts).



> Hi, the_wanlorn! 
> 
> So like I mentioned before, the lovely people from Fic_In_A_Box matched us based on Lena and Kara. You said that you only watched till Season 2, but I included a bit about Lena's biological mother which was later in the show, I hope that is OK :). Also this was half inspired by your prompt with Lena getting sick and Kara taking care of her. I mean it's not physical sickness and it's more Supergirl than Kara, but I have zero control over my plot bunnies so yeah. The other half of what inspired this was me hearing Lena talking about her freezing when she saw her mother dying and wanting to scream "Baby don't blame yourself this is peritraumatic dissociation it's not your bloody fault" at the screen. Aaaand you said you like emotional hurt comfort so I tried to provide that :D.
> 
> I hope you like this!

It’s not the first time Lena wakes up screaming at night, the look her mother had before getting into the water fixated on her. When she’s awake, she remembers that look as a loving one, a spark of adventure in her mother’s eyes as she stepped into the water that had taken her way from her daughter. When she’s asleep, however, that look is not loving anymore. It’s sad and full of contempt, like her mother is somehow disappointed with Lena’s inability to save her, to scream for help, to do anything about the fact that she was drowning.

When she’s awake, Lena knows that her reaction wasn’t something she could be blamed for, at least not entirely. When she’s awake, she knows that there is a term in psychology for that, peritraumatic dissociation, and that her brain simply didn’t want to accept the reality it was facing, so it simply chose to ignore it. Her nightmares don’t care about psychology lessons, however. Her nightmares come to haunt her just the same, this time with the image of her mother returning from the water, water dripping from her hair and an empty look in her eyes, her face decaying as she steps back on the shore. She extends a hand to Lena, and she’s back to being 4 again, cuddling against herself on the beach as she wills the specter to go away, but it doesn’t listen. It only looks at her mockingly, hateful words spewing out of its mouth. _Not good enough to be a Kieran, not good enough to be a Luthor_ , it says, and, when she’s asleep, Lena believes it.

When she’s awake, Lena tries to shove that ghost back to the box it belongs to, but this is a tricky one and it’s having an especially bad night. The kind of night that requires washing it with alcohol, Lena decides as she gets up from her desk and pours herself a glass. It’s not the first time she had fallen asleep at her office and it’s not the first time she needs the alcohol to sleep properly. She knows it’s a gamble, however, not having any idea if it will work this time or not. She has no choice though. So she throws the liquid down her throat, wincing at it hits her. She hopes it will be enough to dull the pain, but her ghosts aren’t satisfied. Her ghosts demand more, but before she has the chance to pour herself another glass, she hears a gust of wind at the window.

The last thing she expects is Supergirl standing there, a concerned look on her face as Lena opens the door to her balcony and invites her in.

“So this is going to sound weird,” the super heroine says sheepishly, “but are you okay?” When Lena doesn’t answer, she offers her a small smile. “I thought I heard you screaming.”

“I had a bad dream,” Lena says dismissively. “Nothing I can’t handle, believe me.” she says, trying to sound as convincing as she can, but she can tell Supergirl doesn’t buy a single word of it.

“I’m sure you have more important things to do,” Lena insists, hoping she would go away. She’s not in the mood to be a good host, especially not now, but if her brother was right about one thing concerning the Supers, it was that they are stubborn as hell especially when they want to save people.

“Actually, I don’t,” Supergirl says with a grin as she sits on the edge of the balcony. “If you want someone to talk to, I’m here.” She doesn’t push further than that, and Lena supposes she could be rude and tell her to go away. But it’s late and she’s a bit drunk and a lot more hurting and apparently has no control over the things that get out of her mouth.

“I had a visit from my mother,” she admits, and from then on, the words start pouring and she can’t stop them anymore. Supergirl is basically a stranger to her at this point, but she still tells her everything, how her mother got into the water, how she drowned and Lena just sat there watching her, how by some twist of fate she had never felt more calmer than in that moment. She expects the super heroine to blame her, just like every single person she had met in her life had done. She expects her to tell her that this is why she got to the Luthors, just the Universe’s way to punish her for killing her mother. After all, she knows that the best she can hope for is for Supergirl to tell her that she was a kid and that there is nothing she could have done. Which is true, but most people say it just as a platitude, because they can’t think of anything better to say.

She doesn’t expect Supergirl to listen intently, allowing her to pour her heart. What she least expects, however, is the words that leave out of the other woman’s mouth.

"My planet was dying,” she says simply, like she has just told Lena the sun rises in the East. “My parents knew that they couldn’t save it, so they chose to save me and my cousin instead,” she continues, and Lena finds herself enraptured by the story. A part of her feels mad because it’s as if Supergirl has decided that Lena’s story didn’t matter, but at least she doesn’t get her pity, she supposes.

“They put me and my cousin into separate pods and sent us to Earth,” Kara continues. “I wasn’t too old back then, not in human years at least, and my mother had given me a simple job. I was supposed to protect my cousin. But I couldn’t do it,” she says, her voice wavering a bit at that. “A shockwave knocked my pod off course and I got stuck in the Phantom Zone for 24 years. By the time I got to Earth, my cousin was a grown up man and had already faced mortal danger a few times. He could have died, and it would have been my fault.”

At this, Lena simply scoffs. “Please, it’s not like you could have done anything about it,” she says as she rolls her eyes. “You were just a kid, tucked away in your pod. It’s not your fault for that shockwave.” She doesn’t realize when Supergirl flies to her, but suddenly she’s too close to her for her comfort, her face only a few inches away from hers and having the most earnest look Lena had ever seen.

“Exactly,” Supergirl smiles as she places her hand on Lena’s shoulder. It’s all she says, but it’s enough for Lena to get the implications.

“So you’re telling me that if a shockwave hits you, it’s not much that you can do? Even if it freezes you and makes you unable to take care of the ones you love?” Lena asks on a small voice.

“That would mean I gave you a pep-talk, and I don’t do that,” Supergirl grins. “And something tells me you’re not the kind to like pep-talks either. But if you ever need someone to talk about shockwaves and stuff like that… you can call me.”

“You said your cousin was in mortal danger,” Lena points out. “My brother was part of that, and we both know it.”

“So?” Supergirl shrugs. “It’s not him I’m giving not pep-talks to.” She says it as a joke, but Lena can’t remember the last time anyone has looked at her and saw her and not her brother.

“Right.” It’s all she manages to say, and it takes all her will power to stop at that. The last thing she needs in her life is another box called _feelings for Supergirl_. One blonde sunshine girl she has feelings for is more than enough. Not that she would feel anything for Kara Danvers. She barely knows the girl and as much as she tries to get under her skin, she knows a day will come when she will realize Lena is just another Luthor and she doesn’t want to be anywhere near her. That day comes for everyone, and it will come for Kara just as it will come for Supergirl. But for now, she can have this, she decides as she gestures to an armchair in her office.

“I never had an alien telling me about their home planet,” she says casually.


End file.
